Let’s Rock: The Al Bundy Story

Today we induct another member into The Hater Hall of Fame, and I consider this man a pioneer in the field.  Although fictional, this self-loathing shoe salesman is one of the greatest haters in TV sitcom history.  This is Why it Sucks proudly present: 

 Alphonse “Al” Hercules Bundy, Born November 7, 1948

Not much is known about the early life of one Al Bundy, but his star began to rise when he started high school.  He exceled on the football field, where he played fullback for the Polk High Panthers and earned the nickname “Touchdown Bundy”.  His most notable achievement during this time was on November 17, 1966, and the setting was the High School City Championship versus rival Andrew Johnson High.  The Panthers were led by Bundy’s record-setting 4 TD’s, which included the game winner as time expired.  In a play that would be discussed and argued for years, Al steamrolled nemesis ”Spare Tire” Dixon on his way to the endzone as time expired–but many including Dixon claim that his knee was down before the ball crossed the plane.  Bundy led the team in TD’s and was voted Polk High’s Most Valuable Player at the end of his senior year. 

It seemed like the sky was the limit for young Al Bundy…until he met a young red-headed girl named Peggy Wanker.  After dating for a short time, Al proposed in what can only be described as a moment of weakness & pure inebriation.  Peggy accepted, and Al Bundy’s good life seemingly ended at this moment.  Before too long, Al finds himself employed at Gary’s Shoes and Accessories for Today’s Woman in order to support the two children he and Peggy had brought into the world, Kelly and Bud.  It was this lifestyle and distaste for life that brought us these great moments in hater history:

Al Bundy, President & Founder of NO MA’AM

“We all have to live with our disappointments…I have to sleep with mine.”

 ”I am the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare.”

“I hate my life…can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t bury my wife in the backyard.”

“A man’s home is his coffin.”

This post was written by Silky Johnson on February 20, 2009
Posted Under: Hater Hall of Fame

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