Sham Wow You Suck

There are many advertisements on TV that I find completely and utterly unbearable; but this feeling usually has little to do with the actual product being pitched.  Most of the time it’s the actors or spokespeople these companies choose to represent their brand.  Here are four of advertising’s worst representatives, in no particular order:

1) Matthew Lesko

This guy reminds me of the Riddler from Batman for some strange reason, only Lesko is less stable and a hell of a lot crazier.  I can’t honestly believe people actually purchase books from this fruitcake, but apparently some people believe there is such a thing as “Free Money”.

2) ShamWow Guy

I don’t really know what it is about this guy, but I hate him with every fiber of my being.  It probably has something to do with that stupid headset he shamelessly sports during the commercials.  I’m guessing he took that with him after he was fired from his fast food job, or he doubles as a salesperson for Abercrombie and Fitch.

3) The Finally Fast.com Guy

I am not sure in this case if it’s the person, or commercial itself that drives me insane.  On one hand I think it’s the commercial, because they manage to say finally fast about 100 times in an ad that lasts two minutes.  But then I observe this guy’s terrible acting (seriously, are they only allowed one take?) and stupid facial expressions mixed with fake typing.  I guess it’s comparable to the old chicken and the egg mystery…

4) Brian Alvarez, The Bowflex Guy

Most everyone knew that chubby kid growing up who swam with their shirt on, and was usually teased for being overweight.  In some cases, those kids begin to workout as they get older, and end up losing a lot of weight.  While some do it to simply to get into shape, others have ulterior motives for shedding those pounds – rubbing it in the face of people they know, or once knew.  Brian Alvarez is a perfect example of one of these rotund reformists, and it is all thanks to his Bowflex.  He proves that you can not only lose 70 lbs, but also develop into a complete douchebag along the way.  Watch his heartwarming story, and imagine being one of his friends at the 1:45 mark in the video.