D.W.I. (Driving Without Intellect)

If you need proof that the world is full of annoying half-wits, all you have to do is get in your automobile, cruise around for a few hours and obey all the traffic laws.  Although the IQ and skill of the common motorist is dependent upon your geographical location – horrible drivers per capita vary among states – there are bad drivers everywhere you turn.  It would be a disservice to group them together because there are all different types of horrible drivers on the roadways.  Some are worse than others, but they all have one thing in common - they are good at pissing you off.  I have gone to great lengths (not really) to categorize some of the most notorious offenders, and will share all the intel I have gathered from studying these wretched roadies.  Here are two of them, but there are plenty left for future discussions…

• OCD’s (Obsessive Compulsive Drivers): These people think that driving is way too easy, so they will do anything but pay attention to the road in front of them.  Common activities include looking for CDs, checking their center console and glove compartment every two minutes, putting on makeup, attempting to retrieve a penny that fell in between the seat (or on the floorboard), using their rear-view as a vanity mirror, admiring the scenery, reading the newspaper, and texting – which can all take place in a 10 minute drive.  The only thing worse than being in the vicinity of these drivers is having to ride with one.  After this experience you learn their behavior is not only annoying, it’s also as scary as seeing one of the Desperate Housewives without makeup.
• Habitual Lane Stepper:  This type of driver is commonly found on any road that’s affected by rush hour traffic, a wreck, construction, or anything else that causes a stand still.  They refuse to just sit and wait like everyone else, so they start changing lanes in an attempt to get to their destination quicker.  They believe the laws of physics and gridlock don’t apply when they are behind the wheel, so it’s a race to continually try and avoid the unavoidable.  All of us have been stuck at one time, and started thinking the other lane may be the answer – but the result is always the same.  This type of reality does not deter a true lane stepper however, it just leads them to law-breaking maneuvers like driving on the shoulder (or in the turn lane) for miles at a time, and then veering back into traffic whenever they see fit.

Thankfully I am saving up for an automobile that should help me deal with any problem drivers in the future: