The Sequel is Not Equal: Top 5

In yesterday’s post, I covered a number of the most unnecessary sequels that have been made in my lifetime; but today we will get to the worst of the worst, the crème de la crap.  So let’s take a look at this haters’ picks for the five worst sequels to good movies:

# 5 

The Crow: City of Angels: The original film starred the son of martial arts legend Bruce Lee, and rising star, Brandon; he played a gothic-type superhero who is brought back from the dead to avenge the death of his fiancée.  You would think a freak accident that killed Brandon Lee during the final days of filming would been enough to discourage a sequel, but the suits in Hollywood thought otherwise.  The Crow became a cult classic because it is dark, edgy, and provides a new take on the superhero genre; the sequel copy and pasted the original plot, and attempted to capture the feel by casting a guy who resembled Brandon Lee.  The director also refused to do the DVD commentary for the sequel, probably because he realized how much it sucked . 

# 4

Teen Wolf Too: I agree that, in theory, two teen wolves are always better than one; but if you can’t even talk the original Stiles into coming back for a sequel, you know you have a dud on your hands.  The second film stars Jason Bateman as the cousin of Michael J. Fox’s character.  He receives an athletic scholarship because of his family history, but has never played a sport in his life; instead of being a basketball star like his cousin, he becomes a boxer and soon finds that he too can turn into a wolfman.  He gains popularity and a harem of hot 80′s chicks, but loses his old friends and a little bit of himself – you know, that old hairy chestnut.  Unfortunately, Bateman didn’t have the opportunity to emulate the sick moves that MJ Fox threw down on the bball court:

# 3

Weekend at Bernie’s 2: I have no problem admitting that I liked the first Weekend at Bernie’s because it was a funny idea…and it featured the guy who starred in one of the best movies ever - Mannequin.  As you can read in the tagline, ”Bernie is back & he’s still dead”, but now he has some rythm in that rotting carcass of his.  After being involved in a voodoo ceremony, Bernie now dances toward a buried treasure whenever music is played.  This leads the two main characters on a wacky trip to the Virgin Islands, and the viewer has to put up with scenes like this for 97 minutes:

# 2

Major League II: Even though I couldn’t care less about the sport of baseball, comedy films don’t get much better than the first Major League.  Oddly enough, the sequel has almost the exact same cast as the original film and it still manages to suck big time – I guess you could call it the Wesley Snipes Effect.  Instead of a rags-to-riches tale, Major League II takes place the year after the Indians won the pennant; the plot plays on the negative effect it had on the players, and their attempt to get back on track – so it’s a riches-to-rags-to-riches story.  There are a few funny parts, but trying to capture the essence of the original film proved to be an impossible task.  To this day, I still find myself repeating one liners from the original film, and the actor who played Harris (Chelcie Ross) recalls one of my favorites here:

# 1, The Worst Sequel EVER

Caddyshack II: I can’t even talk about this sequel with throwing up in my mouth a little.  The original Caddyshack is the alpha & omega of comedy films, and a movie that I can quote pretty much every line verbatim.  One of the things that made Caddyshack so great was the character casting; whether it was Rodney Dangerfield or Ted Knight, every part seemed as if it was written just for that actor/actress.  When you throw in virtuoso performances from Chevy Chase and Bill Murray, it is not hard to see why this film continues to gain acclaim and new fans almost 30 years after its release.  Attempting to make a sequel to Caddyshack was bad enough, but Caddyshack II would have been terrible even if it had not brutally slaughtered an original idea.  The gags were hackneyed, and uninspired performances by Jackie Mason, Dan Akroyd, and Unsolved Mystery’s Robert Stack made the film unbearable. Luckily this atrocious sequel did have one saving grace in the form of Randy Quaid, and this clip of his best moments represents the only ten minutes of Caddyshack II worth watching: