From Russia With Pain IV

I’m happy to say that my favorite outlet for Russian current events (MosNews) has apparently paid their web host enough Rubles to get their site back up.  From what I can tell, they haven’t had enough time to add any new stories since their hiatus, but luckily there are plenty of stories from the recent past to fill the void.  Here are a few things that caught my eye as I browsed through their archives.

DIY ends in dismemberment in St. Petersburg

Police are calling the death of a St. Petersburg resident an accident, after he was found at home with his legs cut off, Regions.ru reports…The 40-year-old man apparently dismembered himself with an electric saw while he was remodeling his apartment. The cause of death was attributed to loss of blood, police say. 

This sounds like both a terrible way to die, and an over-the-top way of handling home remodeling – I think this guy may have watched too much Tool Time with Tim “The Toolman” Taylor.

Russian girl in intensive care after restoring virginity 6 times

A Russian woman ended up in intensive care after restoring her virginity for the sixth time…The woman, identified as Natalia K., got married at 24.  Her husband was not the girl’s first sexual partner, Life.ru writes.  When the husband confessed he was upset about her losing her virginity before the wedding and with another man, Natalia decided to make things up for him.  To celebrate their first year together as a married couple, she went to a plastic surgery clinic and had a hymenoplasty operation…The husband was so delighted with the present, that a year later Natalia wanted to give that joy to him again…And the next year, and the year after that.

The sixth time the woman came for revirgination surgery, the doctors warned her it posed dangers for her health.  Nevertheless, Natalia signed a waiver of all claims and had the surgery done.  But the doctors’ fears turned out to be justified. The woman’s weakened immune system failed to fight an unspecified minor infection she caught after the surgery, and landed her in intensive care.

Even if it was somehow possible, I seriously doubt any male would go under the knife to become revirginated – Who in their right mind would want to relive the most awkward minute of their lives?

And just to show that not everything in the East Bloc is gloom and doom, here’s a story about how young Russians celebrate graduating school – complete with illustrations.

Young Russians celebrate last day of school

On June 23 all Moscow school-leavers get dressed up to officially say goodbye to childhood.  At school, in the first and ceremonial part of the celebrations, teachers hand out high-school diplomas and say some nice words about their students.  After that the school-leavers go out to party with their classmates.  Traditionally, on this day Russian girls wear old-fashioned Soviet style school uniforms: short brown dresses with white aprons, white socks and big white bows. Later they change into evening dresses.

Moscow authorities prohibit selling alcohol on graduation day in any of the city’s shops, but school-leavers still manage to get drunk on the wild mix of champagne and vodka.  After that, they walk around the city, bathing in fountains, vomiting in the streets, taking pictures of each other and generally enjoying themselves.