Sallowin’ Sammy Sosa

I stumbled across a picture this morning that I can’t get out of my head, and thought it was only fitting to share my bewilderment with other inquiring minds.  It seems that former slugger, and steroid user, Sammy Sosa turned some heads on the red carpet last week while attending an awards event in Las Vegas with his wife Sonia.  According to reports, Sosa’s new look was the result of a “skin rejuvenation process” that he’s been undergoing – but I’m not sure rejuvenation is the right word to describe something like this:

It is reported that Sosa pursued this “rejuvenation” to repair some of the UV damage his skin received as a result of his numerous playing days in the sun.  Sosa himself blamed the ghostly appearance on lighting, and claims that the change is not as drastic as the photos indicate.  A former Cubs employee and friend of Sosa maintained that “people who saw him in person did not react the same way.  He can’t believe it is such a big deal.”  Personally, I am not buying that an extra hundred watts or some halogen bulbs could make someone look like that – his wife didn’t have that “new corpse look” in any of the pictures.  So I came up with a few possible conclusions on my own that might explain Sammy’s new skin:

• His pallid complexion was a component of his Halloween costume from the previous weekend – possible costumes would include Eddie Murphy’s character from Vampire in Brooklyn, Gandalf the White, Mark McGwire, and Casper the Dominican Ghost.
• He is a big fan of the Twilight novels and anything else that’s part of the new vampire craze sweeping the U.S. – it’s rumored that some friends have overheard Sammy refer to that Robert Pattinson guy as a “berry berry good actor, and an absolute dreamboat”.  
• Since his name surfaced in the Mitchell report regarding steroid use, it’s doubtful that the Baseball Hall of Fame will be calling anytime soon.  So Sosa has decided to try and pull a Travolta-Face-Off-type maneuver to conceal his true identity.  This means he might be able to fool the Hall of Fame voters into thinking they’re casting a vote for Whitey Ford, Whitey Herzog, or some other white guy - OR he can begin a new baseball career under the alias Chuck Taylor.

So what do you think is the real reason behind Sosa’s new look?  Any input that might help solve this mystery is appreciated…