Fa La La La La Blah Blah Blah Blah

I am a little pissed because I had a good XMas tirade going, and this world wide webular thing decided to cut me off and didn’t save it.  I think my computer may have some sort of bah humbug.  I will try to recreate the acetate of my gray matter at a later date, but here are a few aimless observations for the time being: 

As of now, I would probably blow over a .18 on the XMas Intoxilyzer after a second straight day of making sure the people who pass my wife’s house know she is all about the Christian version of XMas - as opposed to that other deal with the tops, and all the flaming wax.  I can tell you that .18 is aggravated and requires 4 days in jail…which doesn’t sound too bad right now.

I can’t think of a better way to spend your night than being forced to watch animatronic animals repeatedly play the same lame X-Mas style tunes; this also includes a side of terrible, yet good pizza, and your kids spending a majority of the time trying to accumulate enough tickets for something you could buy on the street for $10 flat.  On a side note, I have declared myself the King of all Claw Stuffed Animal Games - but from experience, it did seem like a loose claw game.  I wonder if they advertise that like casinos advertise loose slots?  In either event, my newfound fame did earn me a bit of a fan club, as I had a bunch of children wanting my autograph.  I’ve already started to prepare for the next World Series of Stuffed Animal Claw Grabbing, which takes place in Des Moines next week.

Last night I was watching one of too many wedding dress shows with the wife, and decided that all these pucking feeple are so goddamn nuts.  I honestly believe it would take Mr. Peanut and a Planter’s Special OPS team kidnapping some of these women to lower the George Washington Carver level of the situation.

As much as I hate to admit it, I have come to the conclusion that I am now in the “blue bird special” category of drinkers.  I like to start early, and no longer have a desire to do it late into the evening/morning hours - unless a special occasion rears its drunken head.  Now, startin’ early I’m all about.  Godiva liquer in hot chocolate or coffee is a must try for any soon-to-be jobless alcoholics. 

Am I the only one who thinks Data from the Goonies was more of a stereo type than Pioneer?