Does HIPAA Apply to Spaceface?
(Note: All misspellings, made up words, and grammatically incorrect sentences are intentional, so save your breath)
As far as I can tell, participation on spaceface is purely voluntary. No matter what, there is no law saying you have to share your face, space or anything you’re reading. That being a carry on, what is the Monty Hall with peoples who put their face on this space and then tell you they only “share some of their profile information with everyone”? To actually email/talk to this person, you’re told “if you know this face, send it a message or add him/her/it as a friend”. Why throw yourself out into space and then require a security clearance to see anything other than a shot of your mug? I have yet to hear of national security being threatened due to spaceface profile information being disseminated. I guess if Abdul “I’m Gonna Blow This Plane Up” Mohammed had a facespace profile stating he was “in a realationship with 72 virgins in Heaven and it’s complicated” with a Koran symbol next to it, yellow and blue would have made red on the national security color wheel. If his profile stated his “activities” were becoming a martyr and committing acts of terrorism in the name of El Queso, you’d have something, but it would be far fetched. I’m sure he’s on MyApace any way. Everyone knows all the good terrorists are on MySpace.
If the theory behind all this is “safety”, then you might as well have some Tyco surgerizin’ and hire a big dude who wears sunglasses 24/7 with an ear bud to incase you in a virtual otter box, cause you done showed your face to the whole space. Thugs and/or evil doers don’t have to play an evil version of the memory card game cause – instead of turning over a bunch of photos to match up what you look like – they can go to find your face on space and pick you out of a potential victim line at Ryan’s. To be Hanes, hear is how I ruminate on such vernacular:
“Hey, look at me. I look like this. Just don’t try to talk to me. I didn’t join a social networking site to actually communicate with people and reconnect with old friends. I joined to let everyone know I’m either the same snob I was way back whenever you knew me, or I am now a snob on par with those who put Grey Poupon on hotdogs.”
If you’re not attractive, I guess you release all your information and just not your picture. However, if you’re no longer svelt, members of the opposite sex have a penchant for trying to pick you and find the nest you fell out of everytime they see you - you can thwart all this with a face who resides in a different space. For example, unless I’m purposefully trying to look fat and double chinned, i.e. Elvis, I don’t go uh usin’ my face for profile purposes in space. It’s not that I charge no mind to security, I just don’t want to progagate extra chins, guts, lovehandles, and my Sherman Klump body doubleness all over space. The only thing I remember my swillhead grandfather saying was that he looked better in the dark. In accordance with that and the Geneva Conventions, I hereby solemnly swear my face in space is far better off being kept in the facespace equivalent of a black hole, a planet far far away, or a photoshop room where error codes and frustration are developed.
Until next time, keep having to use google, Wikipedia, and a Farmer’s Almanac to sorta figure out what I’m sayin’. A decoder ring from any high fructose cereal with a superhero/detective character on it would work as well. Coco Puffs with Count Blackula is a good place to start. Fuity Pebbles with those two honkey metrosexual cromagnons has also been known to come up big in a pinch. You’re on your own from there.
