A Real Cheesy American Hero

After looking at some of the celebrities who were born on this day, I could have gone a few different directions in the well-wishing department.  It would have been easy to take some more below-the-belt shots at the talented trainwreck that Eldrick ”Cheetah” Woods has become - he turns 34 today.  I also thought about bowing down to the 25 year-old who has become the face of the NBA, and Johnson & Johnson’s baby powder.  Alas, I decided to honor a lesser known actor who introduced me to the golden age of VHS back in 1985.  Growing up, my two brothers and I single handedly kept our parents teetering on the doorstep of the poor house.  If we wanted to experience luxuries like new fangled VHS machines, they would sign over the house and their car to the local video store so we could rent one for a few days.  The very first movie that I recall watching on video cassette just happened to star today’s birthday honoree, who turns 67.

Fred Ward got into acting after a three year stint in the U.S. Air Force; his career started out in Italy, where he dubbed movies and also spent time working as a mime.  His first speaking part in a U.S. film came in 1975, but his breakthrough role was in Escape from Alcatraz - which starred Clint Eastwood.  The leading role that he would probably rather forget - but one that most people would never remember to begin with - and one that will be forever embedded into my memory is Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.  This 1985 action- adventure movie is so cheesy by today’s standards, it should’ve been produced by a division of Kraft Foods and started with a precautionary warning for any viewers who are lactose intolerant; but what it lacks in style, substance, and overall production value, it more than makes up for with sweet nostalgia and a truckload of unintentional laughs.  You can read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia if you would like, but I can tell you that the movie is basically a mix between James Bond, The Karate Kid, and pretty much everything Jean Claude Van-Damme has ever been in.  After watching these clips earlier, I think it’s safe to draw two conclusions: (1) In his prime, Fred Ward would have given Chuck Norris a run for his money, and (2) they just don’t make movies like this anymore – feel free to interpret that however you see fit:

Remo Williams taught MacGuyver everything he knows…well, almost everything:

Remo is dodging bullets like guests at one of 50 Cent’s record release parties:

Other memorable roles:  Earl Bassett (Tremors I & II), Rocco Dillon (Naked Gun 33 1/3), Virgil “Gus” Grissom (The Right Stuff), & Joe Dirt’s dad