Sleep Talkin Man

When I was younger, one of my older brothers and I were forced to share the same bedroom; there were many nights that he would fall asleep before me, and I was often treated to a wildly imaginative (and nonsensical) collection of ramblings that resulted from his various dreams.  There were a couple of times when I tried to engage him in these conversations – without success – but mostly I would just sit back and enjoy the semi-nightly show.  Apparently I am not the only one who has been subjected to this type of bedtime behavior either, as evidenced by a new blog I came across called Sleep Talkin Man.  A woman known as Karen recently began recording her husband Adam’s dream dialogue, and to say this guy has an active imagination would be a huge understatement – and maybe a misrepresentation, since a better term might be delusional schizophrenia.  As Karen puts it, she has “benefitted from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings” and “thought it only fair to share them with the world.”  All I can say is, “Thank you.”

Here are a few of Adam’s greatest hits – I have to think you’d have a hard time finding any explanation for these in a dream interpretation book:

• “[While drifting off to sleep during a sensible conversation] “The plumbing doesn’t help with the cucumbers anymore.”
• “It’s definitely time to get up. Yes. My dog needs a new tutu.”
• “So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear… I can’t walk though, I have to rock… I think i’ll call myself Ber-NARD. Not BER-nard. Ber-NARD. And I’ll be a golden gummy bear.”
• “I’ve got a badger, a dog, a cat, and a sack. Now that I’ve got ‘em you can fuck off. All mine.”
• “Flap’s on fire. Your flap’s on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I’m a bad bad boy.”
• “Oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds.”
• “I haven’t put on weight. Your eyes are fat.”
• [yelled upon waking] “COCK HUNTER!” – Karen’s note: Just after he shouted “COCK HUNTER” and woke up, he looked at me with fear in his eyes and said, “um, did I just shout cock hunter?” It’s been worrying him ever since.

You can find these, and many more hilarious quotes @ Sleep Talkin Man