Shootin and Jivin’

Here are a couple of news stories that I found interesting on an otherwise boring day; one of them brings back memories from the awkward pubescent days, and the other has one of the most brilliantly idiotic quotes I have seen in a long time:

Footloose 2: Electric Bangoroo - Maine

School officials at Bangor High School are threatening to cancel all of the school dances for the rest of the year if students don’t change the way they dance…They say they have repeatedly warned the students they are to stop the practice of “grinding” on the dance floor, now they say the problem has gotten worse.  The school’s policy is simple.  “If students are grinding they will be informed that they will have to leave the dance and that parents will be called and informed that their child has been told to leave the dance,” superintendent Betsy Webb says.  Some students said that the school had already imposed over-zealous restrictions on the dances, which are monitored by teachers acting as chaperones.  One student told the Daily News: ‘If you get within a foot of someone, there is a chaperone there warning you that you are too close.’

I think this is a mistake, because the new rule will keep the boys at Bangor High School from learning some very important life lessons about the dangers of P.E. - not the class, the all too real condition…and when the name of your school is Bang-her, I just think you’re sending out mixed signals. 

I’m Just Gonna Take a Little Off Your Back – Washington

Monique Reed, 40, was found guilty in May after a nonjury trial of aggravated assault and two counts of reckless endangerment for shooting Lauren Newton, 28, of Washington, on March 6, 2008, after Newton complained about a hair weave Reed had done.  Tuesday, she was sentenced to serve 5 to 20 years in state prison.  Newton and Reed started fighting at Reed’s home…and Newton’s sister, Sharlyn, tried to pull Reed off Lauren Newton.  Reed then got a .38-caliber handgun and fired two shots, one of which hit Lauren Newton in the back.  Reed insisted during the sentencing that she was the victim, and was protecting herself when she was attacked by the women.  As Assistant District Attorney Jerry Moschetta and the judge discussed whether a deadly weapon enhancement to the sentence would be imposed, Reed said, “I didn’t know a .38-caliber could be considered a deadly weapon“…and told the judge, “It didn’t even take her down.”   

Here are some other things that Monique Reed claimed not to have any knowledge of: “I didn’t know pulling the trigger made the gun fire”, “I didn’t know McDonald’s served cheeseburgers”, and “I didn’t know I could save 15% or more on my insurance by switching to Geico.”