Stuff I Thunk

• Tiger Woods is being “treated” for sex addiction.  I would assume this type of treatment takes place in either Las Vegas or Amsterdam.  On the flip side, his wife should be treated for “I married a famous athlete and should have expected this, but I still got mad about it” Syndrome.  In the paraphrased words of Martin Luther the King, she should have had more than a dream this would happen.
• How do places of business that aren’t based on a real live person providing some type of service have SpaceFace pages?  I find it kind of strange that a business is requesting my friendship.  Do you accept McDonald’s request right off the bat, or hold out a little while longer for Burger King’s confirmation? If you’re into sweet grease, do you request Krispy Creme’s be your friend, or accept Dunkin’s request to be your BFF?
• After the big stink I fumigated regarding the phony ass Hall of Fame voting, it’s only fair that I admit an oversight in my editorial.  Lou Gehrig is the only person in history who has been unanimously elected to the Hall of Fame, but it was in a “Special Election” – Why?  BECAUSE HE WAS DYING FROM HIMSELF!  So the message the BBWA is trying to send is: No matter how great of a baseball player, sportsman, ambassador to the game or human being you are, you must contract a disease named after yourself and currently be dying from it to be unanimously voted into the Hall Of Fame.  What a bunch of large chickens.
• I still refuse to believe Lewis & Clark really existed - despite what my wife and the History Channel says - because there isn’t any photographic evidence.  Drawings and paintings don’t count in my book.  Sure there are stories, and that Indian tart on the phony gold coin who vouched for them, but you just can’t trust history.  Don’t even get me started about the moon landing.  Then, you’ve got your dinosaur fossils. What a crock of shit.

The incomparable Tom Waits: