57 Channels Redaction

You should know the drill by now, and if you don’t, as a young Snoop Dogg once said: “Ya betta ask somebody“:

Channel 2: Public Access Programming - Something a GPS unit could do for you without having to watch it on cable. 

Channel 17: Time Team America - A group of Americans who have to build a clock before a group of Swiss citizens.  The victor gets…well, nothing but a really-fastly built watch.

Channel 29: Diamonique Jewelry - A show about a girl in the projects, and all of the accessories she wears.

Channel 43: BET Awards – A show about multi-racial, ethnic and cultural gamblers receiving recognition for their various exploits during the previous year. 

Channel 51: Her Perfect Spouse - This show is just a goddamn lie, because we all know “Hers” don’t believe that such a thing exists.

Channel 64: Fanarchy - A show about the dangers of buying a “smart” ceiling fan and how they could take over the planet - a la the cyborgs from Terminator - one bad hair cut and head injury at a time.

Channel 74: Mermaids - A show about men who clean houses for a living.

Channel 88: Futurama - A show about flea markets, a/k/a dirt malls, in the future.

Channel 99: Prenup Challenge - A show about rich guys trying to see who can get their lawyer to draw up a document screwing their 6th or greater wife out of any inheritance, and keeping her on a tight budget in exchange for plastic surgery.

I’ve got more, but this thing goes up to 800-something and I’m about an hour and a half past rackthirty…