Monday’s Missing Links

Anyone who graduated from preschool probably knows that “The Alphabet Song” ends with, “Now I know my A-B-C’s, next time won’t you sing with me?”  But this father in Tacoma, Washington apparently taught his child the alternative, lesser-known final verse that goes: “I still don’t know my A-B-C’s, daddy won’t you waterboard me?” [N.Y. Daily News]

I will freely admit that my knowledge of male prophylactics pretty much consists of two basic facts: 1) They are made from latex, and 2) Using one is comparable to going out sight-seeing in a foreign country while you’re blindfolded.  Well thanks to this informative article, I can now name seven more. [Asylum]

Am I the only person who holds onto the hope that one morning I’ll awake with an idea for some brilliant invention that will lead me to be a keynote speaker at the next TED conference?  This article lists some simple gadgets that were spawned from pre-existing products, and proves that you don’t have to be Ron Popeil to come up with a good idea…in some cases – like with the first product shown – your idea doesn’t even have to be that good, because people will buy pretty much anything. [Shopping Journal]

I have never been able to put my finger on it, but there is something about babies that makes me uncomfortable.  At first I thought it might be that weird New Baby smell, their fragile nature – seriously, they’re like Ming Vases with heartbeats – or that they seem to possess mind control over their parents – have you ever heard  a new parent talk about anything besides their loin fruit?  Some might call it an irrational fear, but I call it man’s intuition. [Cracked] 

I have never understood why cable networks insist on showing R-rated movies on TV, because a lot of the entertainment value is lost in translation after the all the editing and re-dubbing (which includes lines like: “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”).  I know the FCC believes it is their job to keep the airwaves free from anything and everything that could be perceived as “indecent.”  As Jimmy Kimmel points out, however, they seem to be getting a little too bleep-happy even by their standards.