It’s My Interrogative

I received this “email” yesterday on FaceSpace from a good friend of mine.  What I’ve glued below is the preface to a series of interrogations that will allegedly let more of myself be known to others.  I’ve always thought nudity was a quicker way to know more about a person, but maybe I’m wrong – and certainly too fat to go parading around town like I nude what I was doing.  Well, whether clothed or not, here was the opening command of the email:

“If you’ve been tagged or you are reading this, you have the honor of copying all these goofy questions, writing your own response, and tagging 25 other victims.  You have to tag me so really you just need 24 more people.  If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your title as “Getting to know each other!”, tag 25 people including me (tagging is done in the right hand corner of the app), and then click publish.”

How do you tag someone on a web site?  I see a little box in the upper right hand corner of the page that says “Tag people in this note” and “Type any name”, but that’s not really the full meal deal.  It’s kinda cornfusing really when you get down to it.  Is this some type of subliminal message that I should change my name to Larry Love Handle, hook up with the Revenganator and start a championship wrestling duo?  Should I find someone or someones that I can smack in some vicinity of their persona?  Should I find someone and make them a drink out of a orange powdery substance?  I just don’t know, and really don’t care either.

As for the second command under the first command, yet still above the open box, how can “any name” be tagged via me merely typing it?  What if I wrote down Spartacus?  Would the elder of Douglas’ then have to consent to a SpaceFace friendship prior to him being tagged?  How do you tag someone not in existence in this strange substitute for actual human interaction not involving technology?  To tag or not to tag. That is the question…and I don’t know how to answer.

I don’t mind being queried about such topics as myself for the benefit of medical diagnosis, competency evaluations, or pizza ordering.  Speaking of which, have you tried to order a pie without your college transcript, blood type and results of your latest physical from the generalized Pizza Hut command center that picks up when the local Hut declines to answer their phone?  Anyway, I don’t have a problem with the querier of these questions, their format, or the information they seek out.  I just can’t figure out how to cyber slap 25 people, and then be backhanded with the actual questions that I’m supposed to answer.  This process is akin to world wide webular domestic abuse.  I fear that one of the tagees may take a RAM or ROM out on me, which would require me to stay some mythical distance away from them.  While I’m making fun of domestic violence and protection orders, how would you restrain someone from getting within a certain distance of a certain person on the internet?  Would the distance be calculated as the crow flies, the possum trots, or the vacinity in which the hard drives are to each other?  Could you be entrapped into violating an Internet restraining order by an erroneous friend request?  Could you go to cyber jail for hooking up in a friendly way via MyFace with someone who is friends with the someone you can no longer be friends with?  It’s like six degrees of spaceface up in this trailer.

Well I have to go, but I just realized that I may have answered some of the questions I’m too stupid to ask myself.  I wonder if I passed?  I know I answered some questions that will probably make some question my sanity.  But as long as someone keeps attempting to answer the questions they’re not technologically smart enough to ask, the open and free dialogue that high speed itnernet access provides will keep us all well informed about each other.  Even if you don’t know why this verbal inquisition is necessary (it isn’t) or what the answers are being provided for (nothing), you’re getting to the bottom of the psychological grandest of canyons anyway.  That is the self truth of it all.