Trendy Topics

I am still in the process of getting the site updated and up to my specifications, but I wanted to discuss something that has been brought to my attention over the past few weeks.  While a lot of web users are always talking about “googling” something, I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that Yahoo! may be a more popular search engine for web users.  One of the things that I have started to pay more attention to on Yahoo!’s homepage is a little section in the upper right titled “Trending Now.”  This gives people the opportunity to check out the most searched or talked about topics currently on the web, but it also gives someone like me a glimpse into what is important or interesting to the common Internet patron.  Well, after checking out what this morning’s top ten had to offer, I have to say it’s pretty damn sad – and a little bit disturbing.  So I have decided to list these topics from the tenth most searched to the first, and say a few words about why they have the Internet all atwitter.

#10 – Gulf Oil Spill: Last week an offshore oil drilling rig exploded in the Gulf Coast, and many experts believe the resulting spill will eclipse the Exxon Valdez disaster that occurred back in 1989.  The oil slick is five times bigger than first estimated, and is working its way into the Mississippi River Delta and lapping the Louisiana shoreline.  David Kennedy of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration told The Associated Press, “It’s of grave concern.  I am frightened.  This is a very, very big thing.  And the efforts that are going to be required to do anything about it, especially if it continues on, are just mind-boggling.”  Government officials said the blown-out well 40 miles offshore is spewing five times as much oil into the water as originally estimated — about 5,000 barrels, or 200,000 gallons, a day.

#9 – Droid Incredible:  Another new “smart” cell phone from Verizon that people are goin ape shit over; the product is in such high demand that new orders did not ship yesterday as expected, and the carrier has been forced to delay shipments until May 4th.  Oh, the humanity!!

#8 – Adobe Flash Ban: The CEO of Apple came out yesterday to put the smack down on some popular software that ironically isn’t supported by any of the company’s high tech devices.  Steve Jobs wrote an open letter to all the Apple-lovin’ nerds around the world claiming that Adobe Flash is “slow, drains batteries, isn’t suitable for touchscreen devices and poses security problems.”  So yea, suck on that you inanimate, piece of shit software…

#7 – Secretariat: News about a new Disney movie in the works which follows the story of the horse that won the Triple Crown in 1973.  I liked this movie the first time I saw it back in 2003, when it was called Seabiscuit.

#6 – Siobhan Magnus: I thought this was going to be an article on the newest person to hold the World’s Strongest Man title, but it’s just about some American Idol reject’s quest to stay relevant.  Next…

#5 – Kid Rock: Kid Rock was picked to host the 2010 Country Music Television Awards that takes place on June 9th, and he promised to “awesome.”  He also promised to continue ripping off other artist’s music across all genres while he laughs all the way to the bank – which is probably a Folgers coffee can that is buried in the yard behind his trailer…

#4 – Katie Holmes: The slave, I mean, wife of Tom Cruise is set to star in The History Channel’s first scripted miniseries titled “The Kennedys.”  Holmes will play first lady Jacqueline Kennedy in the eight-hour program about one of America’s most famous and talked about families.  There is no word yet on whether Tom allowed her to film the series without her GPS ankle bracelet, or if it will have to be removed after filming with the help of CGI.

#3 – Dominique Dawes: The former U.S. Olympic gymnast received a bronze medal ten years after her performance at the 2000 games in Sydney, Australia.  This happened after the International Olympic Committee found that Chinese gymnast Dong Fangxiao was under the age of 16 when she competed, which resulted in a disqualification.  This is one of the first times I can remember gymnasts or the Olympics being a story of interest during an off year – and hopefully it will be the last.

#2 – Rielle Hunter: Some chick who slept with former presidential nominee John Edwards is being interviewed by Oprah – scandals in politics, what a new concept.  The only difference is that this affair apparently has the Oprah seal of approval…

And the most searched topic as of this morning – Bret Michaels: The former lead singer of a shitty 80′s hair band, and the star of an even shittier reality TV show on VH1 has recently been in and out of the hospital.  He was first admitted for an emergency appendectomy; ten days later he was taken in for bad headaches, and it was discovered that he had suffered a massive subarachnoid hemorrhage.  He is said to be recovering, and recent stories have estimated that he will be “rockin” again in a few weeks.  So there you have it, Bret Michaels and eight other trivial stories are of more interest to the general population than a massive oil spill that will have a long lasting effect on our ecosystem for years to come.  My theory on the popularity of the Bret Michael story is that thousands of rednecks across the country thought the WWE’s latest storyline involved professional wrestler Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels sneaking away to New Hampshire for a private wedding ceremony…which makes more sense to me than the idea of people actually caring about some washed-up rocker turned reality show manwhore…