Friends Like These

I have written some thoughts before on people who don’t seem to understand the types of  behavior that accompany a normal friendship, but this story is by far the worst recorded act perpetrated by a frienemy that I have ever read:

A 47-year-old Dona Ana County man is in a Texas burn center after a drinking game left him nude on the side of the highway with his prosthetic leg in flames.

Sheriff’s deputies learned that the victim and friends were drinking Monday and had made a bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire, according to a news release.

The victim told investigators that since he drank only six beers, the least amount, he agreed to let his friends set him on fire.

The victim, who has a prosthetic left leg made of plastic, said his friends set his leg on fire, which spread to his buttocks and lower back area, causing severe burns.

Not being able to stand the pain, the victim disrobed. His friends then decided to take him to the hospital but became “nervous and dropped the victim off” on U.S. 70, the release said.

Witnesses reported seeing an individual walking on a U.S. 70 bridge with his leg on fire. Another witness reported that the victim was naked, while other witnesses reported that the victim was struck by two cars and even attempted to jump into passing vehicles as well into the path of an oncoming tractor-trailer.

When questioned by deputies if he had asked his friends to stop at any point in time while setting him on fire, he stated “no, he lost the bet” and therefore did not attempt to stop them.

The man was taken from MountainView Regional Hospital to a Texas burn treatment center.

A few thoughts on this story:

First, what kind of twisted fuckin’ drinking game results in the loser being lit on fire?  The only thing I can think is that this guy’s friends were altogether unfamiliar with the specific rules of the drinking game Asshole.  Second, let’s say you happened to have a friend who was missing a limb.  I don’t think there are many feel-good stories that involve someone losing an extremity, so it’s safe to say this particular guy/girl has been through a traumatic experience at least once in their life already.  Most people would go out of their way to be nice to a person in their situation, and even the biggest drunk dickheads would only go so far as to drop the occasional off-color remark every once in a while – like “When does that ass-kicking contest you entered start?” or “Was that movie starring Daniel-Day Lewis based on your life?”  Maybe the weirdest part of the story is that the victim agreed to let his friends do this, and the thought of “maybe this isn’t such a good idea” was seemingly overtaken by some moronic machismo.  Even if the guy was stupid enough to accept the punishment for being the lightweight of the group, you’d think at the very least he would have told them that he prefer they didn’t light a part of his body that is made of plastic, and wouldn’t cost thousands of dollars to replace.  I guess being set on fire didn’t turn out as he had imagined, so the guy proceeded to go au naturel, and at that point his “friends” apparently decided this hadn’t gone far enough.  How else could you explain them deciding to take him to a hospital, getting his hopes up, and then ultimately opting to drop him off on a highway in his birthday suit with a smoldering prosthetic?  Yet even after all of this, the victim somehow remains loyal to his fiery friends.  One media outlet captured a photo of the man reuniting with one of the individuals responsible after he was released from the hospital, and it doesn’t look like any of them have learned a lesson: