Hater Hall of Shame: Rush Limbaugh Edition

Rush Hudson Limbaugh III,  Born January 12, 1951

Rush Limbaugh III (it seems like most people with Roman numerals after their names are complete jackasses) was born in Cape Girardeau, Missouri to a lawyer named Rush Jr. and a homemaker named Mildred.  Many of his family members also went into the field of law – including his grandad, brother, uncle, and cousin – but Rush had an expressed interest in radio from a young age.  His first gig on a radio station came at age 16 when he worked under the porn star-like pseudonym “Rusty Sharpe”, and I guess it was then that he realized this was an outlet he could use to spread narrow-minded ignorance.  He graduated from Cape Central High School in 1969, and enrolled at Southeast Missouri State University due to pressure from his parents to go to college.  Limbaugh left after only two semesters and a summer session because – according to his mother – “He flunked everything.”  I mean, who needs books and learning when you have irrational beliefs passed down from generations that you accept without question or reason, right?  He was a part of the Vietnam draft, but was not selected due to either a football injury or more fitting, a diagnosis of Pilonidal Disease – which is a cyst that forms near the asshole.  Talk about a joke that writes itself.

After dropping out of college, Rush moved to Pennsylvania and worked as a Top 40 music DJ under the name “Jeff Christie” for a small AM station known as WIXZ.  After two years, the station was sold to another company and Limbaugh was let go because the new management believed he would never make it as an on-air talent and was better suited to sales.  Unfortunately, he did not heed their advice and instead moved back to Cape Girardeau to find work.  After working on multiple stations as a music DJ, Rush temporarily left the radio and took a job as director of promotions with the Kansas City Royals in 1979.  However, he returned to the radio five years later in Sacramento to replace a fellow gas bag, Morton Downey Jr.  In 1987, the FCC repealed the Fairness Doctrine – which made radio stations contribute air time for opposing viewpoints to whatever controversial subject was being discussed – and Limbaugh took full advantage of the one-dimensional discussions he could now present.  A writer from The Wall Street Journal echoed this sentiment by saying: “Ronald Reagan tore down this wall (the Fairness Doctrine) in 1987 … and Rush Limbaugh was the first man to proclaim himself liberated from the East Germany of liberal media domination.”

In August of 1988, The Rush Limbaugh Show began on the Premiere Radio Network, and it soon became the highest-rated talk radio show in the United States.  I don’t fully understand this popularity, but my thought is that he speaks on behalf of all the other uneducated, aging masses whose minds are filled with one-sided opinions and irrational fears of the insaneth degree.  The format of his show has remained the same since it began, and consists of Limbaugh: rambling on about a subject that involves liberals ruining the country, parody songs (like “Barack the Magic Negro”), phone calls from listeners who kiss his big, white, cyst-covered ass – they are called “Ditto” heads, which is fitting because it’s obvious they can’t think for themselves – and comedy bits that are often filled with good, old-fashioned bigotry and feeble minded attempts at humor.  Not surprisingly, Rush has uttered more than a few controversial comments during his time on the air, and has been involved in off-air troubles as well – in 2003, he was charged with illegally obtaining a prescription for hillbilly heroin.  Yet, through all of this, he remains one of the most popular conservative radio talk shows in the country, and an influential member of the Republican Party.  I will never understand his appeal, but it’s probably best summed up with a quote from philosopher Bertrand Russell: “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure, and the intelligent are full of doubt.”

Jon Stewart doin’ what he does best:

Current TV skit that continues with the Star Wars theme:

A catchy song that perfectly describes who Rush Limbaugh really is (Language NSFW):