What the fuck is a Cantata? Is it a fruit? Is it the fruit they extract all the taste out of to make that tasteless, calorie-less, almost-generic-orange-like-carbonated-beverage in the non-swill swill isle at your local grocer’s locally owned and overpriced emporium? Ding Dong Kim Jong IL II is Dead! That was about as hard to [...]
Seeing the morning after drinking makes you wish you were disbelieving. The first step towards being a community activist is to come up with a hair style people will either remember, be unable to forget or be afraid of making and pissing off. Taxidermy is always taking it up the ass. Slap a Santa suit [...]
I just ordered a pizza on my cellphone from Domino’s store #1487. According to my fancy virtual “Order Tracker,” some pizza pusher named Derek put it in the oven at 9:12. Oh, wait a minute. That crazy bastard Derek then checked my pizza for deliciousness at 9:18. The deliciousness checks are now complete. But I [...]
The manufacturers of the drug Dulera wants me to ask my doctor if it can help me breathe better. If you’re having to recommend medicine to help you breathe to your doctor based off the advice of a commercial, I’d say you need to watch another channel for a second opinion. In the spirit of [...]
