Cigarette consumers in the U.S. have been ostracized and shamed by non-smoking individuals or advocacy groups since the dangers of smoking were linked to lung cancer and other diseases around the 1950′s.  Although I am surprised anyone up until that point actually thought inhaling smoke through a fiery chemical reaction wouldn’t cause health problems, the medical community has made the long-term effects quite clear over the past 60 years.  Well, the tables turned recently when Chinese scientist found that cigarettes can also be helpful in certain areas – namely, protecting steel pipes from rust.  So, yeah, suck on that American Medical Association. [Pravda RU]

Cellphones are a luxury item that most people would now view as an absolute necessity – but there are few others like me who feel they’ve grown into an enormous annoyance.  Besides Bluetooth headsets – which is the most frustrating tech device on the planet – being subjected to someone else’s loud, private conversations in a public setting is more irritating than having Icy Hot slathered all over your genitals.  Researchers at Cornell University have found an answer as to why this is; unfortunately, it looks like a cure – other than going deaf – is nowhere in sight. [Reuters Africa]

I am, and always have been, a big fan of sleeping.  Sleep is not only necessary to human functioning, it also one of the only ways (I can think of) to escape the doldrums of reality in a purely natural way.  One thing about my nocturnal patterns which I consider to be both a blessing and a curse is possessing the qualities of a “heavy sleeper.”  This is a blessing in the sense that I can sleep through pretty much anything (storms, car alarms, etc), and a curse in the sense that one of those things is often my alarm clock – plus a robber could take their sweet ass time, and everything I own, if they raided my house between midnight and eight a.m.  Yet one essential ingredient to my respite recipe is having a somewhat comfortable place to lay down; a problem which definitely doesn’t hinder the following people from heading to dreamland.  [The Huffington Post]

I’ve often heard the phrase, “Everything is bigger in Texas” uttered by citizens or sympathizers of this hillbilly hamlet, and wondered if there was any truth to this attitude.  While I can’t speak for everything pertaining to the state as a whole, I will say that the city of Corpus Christi definitely has some colossal morons working in law enforcement. [Raw Story]

There have been very few times when I watch a “graphic” video that is labeled as “disturbing”, and actually end up being disturbed by it.  You can say this is an example of desensitization or apathy, but I call it coming to grips with the realization that the world itself is a graphic and disturbing place.  However, if you can watch the following video and not be frightened or worried by the behavior it depicts, then you’re not alive:

I’ll say it again in case you didn’t believe me the first time – this contains highly graphic, violent content that you should find disturbing:

Looks like someone took Crosby, Stills, and Nash’s advice the wrong way

When I was younger, one of my older brothers and I were forced to share the same bedroom; there were many nights that he would fall asleep before me, and I was often treated to a wildly imaginative (and nonsensical) collection of ramblings that resulted from his various dreams.  There were a couple of times when I tried to engage him in these conversations – without success – but mostly I would just sit back and enjoy the semi-nightly show.  Apparently I am not the only one who has been subjected to this type of bedtime behavior either, as evidenced by a new blog I came across called Sleep Talkin Man.  A woman known as Karen recently began recording her husband Adam’s dream dialogue, and to say this guy has an active imagination would be a huge understatement – and maybe a misrepresentation, since a better term might be delusional schizophrenia.  As Karen puts it, she has “benefitted from hours of delight at his dead-of-night musings” and “thought it only fair to share them with the world.”  All I can say is, “Thank you.”

Here are a few of Adam’s greatest hits – I have to think you’d have a hard time finding any explanation for these in a dream interpretation book:

• “[While drifting off to sleep during a sensible conversation] “The plumbing doesn’t help with the cucumbers anymore.”
• “It’s definitely time to get up. Yes. My dog needs a new tutu.”
• “So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear… I can’t walk though, I have to rock… I think i’ll call myself Ber-NARD. Not BER-nard. Ber-NARD. And I’ll be a golden gummy bear.”
• “I’ve got a badger, a dog, a cat, and a sack. Now that I’ve got ‘em you can fuck off. All mine.”
• “Flap’s on fire. Your flap’s on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I’m a bad bad boy.”
• “Oompa loompas don’t sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds.”
• “I haven’t put on weight. Your eyes are fat.”
• [yelled upon waking] “COCK HUNTER!” – Karen’s note: Just after he shouted “COCK HUNTER” and woke up, he looked at me with fear in his eyes and said, “um, did I just shout cock hunter?” It’s been worrying him ever since.

You can find these, and many more hilarious quotes @ Sleep Talkin Man