“Five Uneasy Moments“ Moment # 1: Have you ever been in one of those serious social situations when you suddenly realize you have to pull the underwear out of the crack of your ass? “Do you, Enrique, take this woman, Blanca, to be your lawful, wedded wife?” “Huh? Hold on Rev.” [Tugging violently at his [...]
“First I Was a Kid“ I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius. And I’ve never told you much about my childhood. It seems I was unusual even before I was born. During pregnancy, my mother carried me very low. Indeed, for the last six weeks, my feet were sticking out. She was the only [...]
“Airline Announcements: Part II” (Part I is here, in case you missed it) Suddenly, I’m awake. The flight is almost over, and somehow, along the way, the captain has become politicized. His latest offering: “Ladies and gentlemen, we have just begun our gradual descent into the Los Angeles area, similar in many ways to the [...]
“Cars and Driving: Part One” From Carlin’s 2001 book, Napalm and Silly Putty Ridin’ or Drivin’? You wanna go for a ride? Okay, let’s go for a ride. Well, actually, you’ll go for a ride, I’ll go for a drive. The one who drives the car goes for a drive. The other person goes for [...]
